Being 18 is the turning point in a girl's life. As my mom always said, this is where I turn into a woman. My mom always wanted us to become "the perfect woman" but my mom's idea of a perfect woman is "Maria Clara" and she wasn't the only one who thinks this way. My aunts, my godparents, and my mom's friends think the same way. Actually there are 18 things that they always say to me:

1. "Oh ayan Barbie! Di ba favorite mo 'to?"
2. "Ang ganda naman ng buhok mo kaso dapat lagi mong inaayos. Babae ka pa naman."

3. "Kay ganda naman! Kaso mas maganda yung isa, yung maputi."

4."Eto yung gusto mo? Hindi pambabae to."

5. "Bakit hindi pink ang favorite color mo?"
6.. "Bakit sobrang iksi ng gupit mo? Tomboy ka ba?"

7. "Ang babae pang bahay yan. Kaya dapat marunong ka ng gawin yung mga gawaing bahay."

8. "Bakit hindi? Girls always love pink skirts."

9. "Huwag ka masyadong maglalakad. Baka magka muscle ka sa legs. Pangit tignan sa babae."

10. "Sana naman ayusin mo na yung gamit mo. Para kang hindi babae."

11."You should make more girl friends. Napaka tahimik mo masyado para sa isang babae."

12."Huwag ka masyadong magkakakain ng madami! Baka tumaba ka!"

13.  "Pag ganun, sabihin mo babae ka. Dapat ikaw yung nauna kasi babae ka."

14.  "Huwag mo masyadong seryosohin ang pagiging matalino. Hindi mo naman kailangan iyan pag nag-asawa ka."
15. "Gusto mo ba ng gluta? Mas okay kung puputi ka ng konti."

16. "Huwag ka nga masyadong nagsasama dun. Parang hindi ka babae."

17.  "Bakit ka nakikinig niyan? (listening to Zico and other korean hiphop music artists) Hindi naman pambabae yan."

18. "Okay lang yan, babae ka naman eh."

But those things didn't end there. For seventeen years, I lived to meet the expectations of my mom, my aunts and her friends to become the perfect woman. But I couldn't. I am not boyish but I am not girly too. I don't really hate pink. In fact, I love colors but I hate the idea of pink as the color of femininity. I love different genres of music, from hiphop to indie. Yes, I've cut my hair with a boyish cut, but that doesn't mean I am lesbian. I was comfortable with it because my classmates always teased my curly hair and with my hair gone, I was not bothered anymore. A girl can either have pale, fair, tan, or dark skin. It doesn't mean that if you're a girl, you should have pale skin, a slender figure and a nice body. There was one time at school where my teacher asked my classmate if he would date me when we grow up. He said no because I wasn't pretty enough like his crush, who was way more fairer than me. Even though he was handsome, I didn't think of myself as someone lesser because of that guy.

One time, I was invited to a 3-day encounter party which is organized by our church. After that party I attended post-encounter weekend where we were given additional lessons and other stuff. In that day I was asked.

"What is a woman?" My leader asked. "What is the essence of being a woman?"

 "Someone God created after Adam?" I answered.

After that awkward answer, we proceed to the actual lesson. Although I didn't agree about some of the topics there, I have come up with a new and better answer than the first one.

A woman is more than just biology. A woman is meant to inspire. Being a woman is being strong, confident, intelligent and being happy with who you are. Being a woman is not being afraid of something else to define you. To become a woman, you have to be you. As I turn 18, I can say that I am excited to be the woman I wanted to be. I like the woman I am becoming right now, a girl who is afraid of the camera but enjoys looking good not for others but for myself, a girl who is both nice and naughty and quiet and loud. Although there are still that I have to work on, I love it. And no matter what happens, I will always love the woman I am.